"Gamer's Edge"

"Yes, I'm phoning about you guys sending me to collections."

"As I do not recall giving directions to the anyone on how to find my collection company, I would suggest that this is a tall tale.  More likely, you mean to imply I have sent your account to a collection company which has since contacted you regarding your delinquency."

"Uh... ya."

"Glad to hear we are in agreement."

"Why did you do that?"

"We have covered that already.  It would be regarding money owed to me."

"We have a problem."

"I would be more likely to support the theory that you have a problem."

"It's not fair!"

"Fine...  What's your name and I'll pull the account up."

<customer provides name>

"Well, ok.  You rented Auto-Destruct for one night last August.  It was never returned, and when phoned your phone number provided was false  Your account was forwarded to collections after 90 days."

"Well, I don't want the game now."

"That's nice.  It was due back five months ago."

"I want to just bring it back and not pay for it."

"I have a better idea.  You pay me for it since I've already replaced it."

"It's a horrible game."

"Yes, yes it is.  Next time, might I suggest you steal a better one?"

"Don't you want the game back?"

"No, not really."

"You can't charge me $60 for such a bad game.  It's not worth it.  How about $10?"

"It didn't occur to you before that your should ensure you were in fact stealing a good game?"

"How about $15?"

"How about the only reason your phoning me is because you need a credit card or loan of some some, and your bank is telling you to pay me off before they'll consider it.  On that note, good day."

<click>