Is it truly that difficult to use a game that is actually out?  I've only got... oh... hundreds of them!

hapter Thirteen

orrible Plan With A Huge Fatal Flaw

"My friend returned some games to your store though the return slot last night that were to have been returned to Microplay."

"The only returns I had this morning were mine.  Maybe five games total.  And all in my cases."

"Just give me back the game."

"I would if I had any idea what you were talking about.  I get games from other stores occasionally, and I just have them returned to those stores. Last night I had not such product."

"Why are you trying to steal the game!  It was an accident!"

"Trust me, I've got better things to do than steal games scratched to hell from Microplay that are covered in their stickers and have no box.  What would I get?  $5 if I was really lucky?  That hardly justifies that risk of selling what I know is not mine."

"It was Gran Turismo 3!  You can get a lot for that game!  And I will have to pay Microplay $90 if I don't bring it back."

"Gran Turismo 3?  For the PS2?"

"Yes, now give it back!"

"Now I know definitely that I do not have it."

"If you don't give it back, you'll have to give me a new copy or I'll phone the cops!  What you're doing is illegal."

"Your mastery of the legal system humbles my mighty efforts.  You are truly the master of all matters legal.  I humbly cast myself before you and ask that you not pursue such an action.  Let us work together to resolve this incident."

"You're going to give me the game?"

"Yes, I'm going to give you a sealed copy.  But I'll need your name and phone number."


"Because Gran Turismo 3 isn't out yet.  It won't be out for another two weeks.  It was delayed by a month."

<dramatic pause>

"Uhm....  it's out."

"No, no it's not.  And when that magical copy that does not exist showed up, I had to create a shrine for it in the back.  But the shrine is invisible.  If you look right there, you can almost see it if you believe."

"Ah.....  errr...."

"Now, I cannot touch the shrine for the gods will strike me down.  Let us call the police and they shall remove the game from the shrine.  Would you like to call, or should I?  For only they have the power remove the game from the shrine."

<dramatic pause>

"Might I suggest next time you try using this plan to steal a game, you use a game that is actually out?  I would suspect it would work much better."