| 
                           A quiet 
                          night as the Gord was preparing a letter to be sent 
                          off.  Then suddenly an individual runs up and kicks 
                          the front door to the store as hard as he can. 
                           
                          "What the hell is he doing?" thought the Gord 
                          as he stood up. 
                           
                          The attacker tried a second time to kick the door 
                          down.  Failing that, he turned and left the scene. 
                           
                          The Gord was an angry Gord, and the Gord was a 
                          vengeful Gord. 
                           
                          The Gord hopped over the counter and exited the 
                          store.  He quickly caught up to the two would be 
                          thieves across the street from the staircase exit to a 
                          lower level nightclub. 
                           
                          "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" 
                          queried the Gord in a most unpleasant fashion. 
                           
                          "We're just walking" was the response. 
                           
                          "Trying to kick down doors is a part of your 
                          walk!?" questioned the Gord. 
                           
                          "You want trouble?  You got trouble!" spoke one of the 
                          two individuals that Gord had stopped.  The individual 
                          pulled out a metal pipe from his jacket. 
                           
                          The Gord was curious why he hadn't used that to try 
                          and take the door down. 
                           
                          Anyway, the vandal wasn't very proficient in using a 
                          weapon and levelled it above his head in a threatening 
                          fashion.  Fortunately the Gord was trained for just 
                          this scenario.  He stepped in, ensured the arm could 
                          not swing the pipe at the Gord while the Gord's other 
                          hand came up and proceeded to send the vandals nose 
                          into his cranium.  The stories are true.  When you do 
                          that to a person there truly is blood everywhere. 
                           
                          While the vandal was dropping back and screaming in 
                          pain as his blood went everywhere, the second vandal 
                          stood in surprise.  Before the first  person even hits 
                          the ground the Gord side kicked the second person in 
                          the chest and send him careening down a cement 
                          staircase. 
                           
                          The conflict was resolved in two hits.  The Gord was 2 
                          and 0. 
                           
                          The Gord picked up the pipe and returned to the 
                          store.  Shortly there after the police and paramedics 
                          arrived.  According to one of the officers on the 
                          scene a group of four guys gang beat up the two guys.  Or at 
                          least, that was their story. 
                           
                          For if you cross the Gord, the Gord shall strike you 
                          down! 
   | 
                            |