When trying to look like you're going to sue, at least file the court papers.  Don't fill in the info packet and try to look smart.


hapter Seven

ew At This Court Thing

Customer walks in the door.  Comes up to the counter, and places down court papers for pursuing a civil case on the counter.

"I told you I would!"

"Told me what?"

"That I would sue you for ripping me off on the mod chip!"

(this would be one of the many customers who Gord had sold and installed a mod-chip for, and the chip only allowed imports to be played, not copies.  He was very angry that the chip did exactly what Gord said it would.)

"Oh!  May I?  I love legal paperwork.  Gimme gimme gimme!"

Gord grabs paperwork and reads through it.  Spelling mistakes, poor penmanship, etc.  Customer claims Gord sold a product that did not work as advertised.

"Here, I'll fill in my response to your claim now."

Gord fills in the response window with "Your head resembles that of a chicken."  Gord gives the court papers back.

"Hey!  This is serious!  I'm suing you!"

"Chicken, head resemble you."

"Shut up!"

"Ba-gooooock?  Cluck?"


"Sorry, I was trying to speak to you in your language, the language of the chickens.  Was I doing it wrong?"

"I'll settle out of court right now if you just give me my money back."

"Not seeing a positive angle for me here in your grandiose plan."

"You're going to look really dumb when you take that form down to the courthouse!"

"You're looking pretty retarded right now as you didn't bother to serve notice to the court of your plan to sue, or pay the filing fee.  In fact, all you've done is pick up the information package and hope to bluff your way through this."


"Would you like to go get another information package and I'll fill your half in so that you don't look retarded, then you can file it, bring down my half, I can fill in why your only purpose in life is to steal games and you're suing me because I won't sell you something that will let you steal games, and I'll counter file for $100 an hour for wasting my time."

"Why are you such an ass!?" screams customer as he leaves.

"Because I hate you, and I'm smarter than you."

Customer left.  Never did file his court papers like he promised.