Next they will be saying I discriminate against people who don't have any money.  Oh wait, they already do.


hapter Six


"I'd like to rent these games please."

"Very well.  Do you have an account?"

"No I don't."

"To rent more than one game, you will require a credit card and government picture ID."

"What if I don't have a credit card."

"Then you will require a drivers license and social security number, and be limited to one game for your first few rentals."

Customer places is B.C. I.D. on the counter.

"I'm sorry, we don't open accounts without a credit card unless you have a drivers license."

"That's illegal!"

"No, no it's not."

"That's discrimination!"

"I'm going to sit down for this one.  Okay.  Explain to me why my asking for a drivers license is discrimination."

"Because people without credit cards and driver's licenses can't rent games."

"So, not seeing a problem here.  I'm safely expelled nearly all the people I dub 'no hopers' from renting.  Not seeing any drawbacks yet."

"That's illegal."

"It would be illegal if I were to ask 'are you black or are you a woman' and if you answered 'yes', and not rent to you because of that."

"What's you're doing is illegal!"

"I'm sorry, what law firm do you represent?"

"I don't have a job."

"Surprised I am not.  So, where were we.  Oh yes, you were telling me why I should let you rent from me."

"Because I want to rent games from you."

"That's nice.  I don't want to rent to you unless you give me a credit card or a driver's license.  I do believe that trumps your want."

"I'm going to file a complaint on your store!"

"Okay.  I'll play along.  Oh who, who shall be your savoir that will descend from the mountains to correct my legally amiss ways?"

"I'll phone the discrimination board."

"Oh, okay then.  As long as you don't phone your mom.  Oh, she called just before you came in.  She says for you to shut the hell up and stop making an ass of yourself.  Also, something about getting off welfare and spending my money.  No, wait, that last part was from me."

"You'll be sorry when you're charged with discrimination!"

Customer begins to leave.

"So do I have to get up for that, or can I just sit here?"