Some people just need new hobbies... and they need them now!.


hapter Thirty Six

ontesting Conflict

Father and son enter the store.  They look at many of the titles, with the father using his executive veto on every game the son wants.  The son being about 14.

Finally, they come up to the counter.

"Yes, we're looking for a game that doesn't have any violence."

"Easy enough.  I've got lots of games without violence.  Anything in particular you want?"

"The game can't have any violence at all."


"I mean nothing."

"Well, Crash Team racing doesn't have any violence in it."

"Yes it does.  You can hit each other's cars."

"Uhm.., no conflict at all you mean?"


"Hmm...  Here, try Bust A Move.  It's a very good game with no conflict."

"We've tried it before.  It's too violent."

"...Too violent?  There isn't any violence in the game at all."

"You shoot things and monsters fall out."

", try Intelligent Cube.  Great game, no monsters and no shooting."

"You can fall off the edge and the moving blocks can kill the character.  Too violent."

"Uh...ok...uhm...well, there are a lot of racing games without violence."

"Racing games have competition.  The game can't have any competition."



"... No competition?  Perhaps we're a little shaky on just what a video game is.  As a rule,  games are exercises in competition.  Violence isn't required, though popular, but competition is a founding requirement.  It's like saying you want a video game that you can play with a pencil and paper.  It just can't happen."

"Are you saying that with all your games you can't give me what I want?"

"I'm saying the only game that can possibly maybe qualify on your list is Tetris, and even then you would be restricted to a one player game.  Though that might not fit under your restrictions."

The son speaks up. "I'm sick and tired of playing nothing but Tetris!  Dad!  Everyone else plays these games, and you won't even get cable TV!  All you ever rent is Tetris!  Can't we get anything else besides Tetris?"

Father rents Tetris anyway.