Why would they say someone's an ass, and then ask if they can use their stuff?  Common sense people!


hapter Fifteen

all-Mart Campout Action!

April 10, 2000

"Yes, I'd like to pre-order 30 PS2's for the launch to make sure I have them."

"Not a problem!" spoke the distributor.

October 2, 2000

"We're sorry Gord, but your allocation of PS2's has been cut from 30 to a minimum of 12, to a maximum of 18.  Worst case scenario, you'll get 12.  Just so you know."

October 23, 2000 (3 days prior to PS2 launch).

"We're sorry Gord, but your allocation of PS2's has been slightly reduced from 12 units to zero.  Is this going to be a problem?"


"Is your not receiving any units going to be a problem."

"How is getting a grand total of zero units when I've pre-sold many of them not a problem, especially after you told me I was getting them?"

Anyway, the Gord was pissed.  Biggest consumer launch ever, and independent stores get shafted.  He was an angry man.  But a resourceful man.

"psst" went the informant.  "Wal-Mart will be putting 36 PS2's up for sale for their launch.  I know this because I work there…  And they're in the back.  Long live the Gord!"

And a glorious plan was born!  Gord gathered his forces, pulled out one of the couches and some chairs, loaded up a truck, grabbed the 200 watt speakers, tossed in a big screen (bigger than the one from the store), and headed to Wal-Mart for the "Campout of Tomorrow!"

Now, the Gord was thinking ahead.  Not only did he bring all the cool stuff, but he also brought along his PS2 and nearly all of the games that were already out.  He walled off a section in front of Wal-Mart with pink rope (couldn't locate a velvet rope), and set everything up.

When it was all done, a sign was hung that said "We're better than you, and we do it in style."

Anyway, so pizza was ordered and mad PS2 action was had.  Except for the guy who decided to camp out with his wife who hated the Gord.  The Gord ruined his life!

"So tell me, why do you hate me so?"

"Because you're a jerk."

"Surely there must be more."

And it turns out buddy was one of those people who would phone up and ask "I was last in your store six weeks ago and I want to know what new titles, used titles, and rentals you have in."

"Sir, I order no less than 30 titles a week new, and that doesn't factor in rentals or stuff traded in.  Mathematically that would be in the hundreds of titles."

And then he would get pissed because I wasn't helping.

"Can I play the PS2?"


"Why not?"

"Because you think I'm a jerk.  Why change that image?  It's not like my letting you play my PS2 would suddenly have you coming back to my store, especially after you said you were never coming back anyway."

And to further ensure that he got no sleep, the speakers were turned up damn loud and fun was had by all (except annoying man) as the yelling and music was in serious overtime.  I don't think he ever got any sleep.

Eventually the crowds started showing up and drooled over the PS2 the Gord had with all it's many games.   Many were not appreciative of being told not to cross the line, and "guess what we're playing and Wal-Mart is sold out of?  Oh that's right, the PS2!" 

And in conclusion, it was the best Christmas ever.