All I need to do now is invent "annoying customer spray" that will keep them at bay, and the world will be a better place.

hapter Twenty


irect From The Computer

Hallie Banyan   111-1111 - Caller ID  

                        480 City           Moved!  Get new address. - 9/18/99

                        BCID - 111 222 333 / SIN - (censored)

            New # 222-2222

No further rentals without CC.

She sounds rather unintelligent.  - 8/27/99

Rented Banjo, Cruisin' World, Controller  8/27/99 - 9/4/99. 

Never returned.

Moved.  Talked to roommate - 9/18/99

She will pass message on, but may not see her.

Games to be returned 9/24/99

Boyfriend threatened me too!  J

How dare I suggest that she pay for what she stole! 

Forwarded to collections 11/17/99

 




ow About More Direct From The Computer

Mark St. Bean                 333-3333 - msg. 

                                       350 Little House Rd.            

                                       ODL - S8888-33333-44444 

                                       Caller ID# - 444-4444

         New Address: Unit 42 - Evergreen Forest Motel - 8/12/98

         New Address: Vancouver Island Correctional Facility. - 11/2/98



t Least Pretend To Be Honest

Customer rents game.  Customer looks at the bottom of game.

"Do you have a better copy?  This one has lots of scratches."

"That'll run fine.  That's pretty much average wear for a PlayStation game that four months old.  If the game gets to a point where it's skipping or not loading, I get them resurfaced."

"My CDR can't copy PlayStation games if they aren't perfectly clean."

"I hear I stopped caring about your concerns the very instant you said you were only renting games to copy them.  I also hear it happened about six seconds ago.  Good day."




f Only Gord Was More Thankful

<Ring>

"Hello?"

"Yes, this is Gord from Gamer's Edge calling.  I'm phoning with regards to the PlayStation you returned yesterday.  The system came back, but games did not.  Did you forget them or will you be keeping the games for extra days?"

"You got the system back, that's the important part."

"Yes, yes it is.  That's why I'm only phoning about the games."

"What do the games matter?  You got the system back.  That's the expensive part."

"I'm only asking when you'll be bringing the games back in case you did not realize they were not returned."

"What does it matter if I don't bring the games back?  They are cheap compared to the cost of a PlayStation."

"So I should be thankful you brought back $200 worth of hardware that you rented for $5, and forgive you for not returning $75 worth of software?"

"They're only games."

"Your credit card will be billed for the games you just bought.  Good day sir."

"Wait!"

<click>

<Credit card billed>



ore Memories...

Customer walks in the store.

"Can I use your phone?"

"Don't you owe me for two games you rented and didn't bring back, but continually say you'll be in to pay for them?"

"I'll pay for them eventually."

"When you do, then you can use the phone."

 

hat Would Be A Bad Sound

Gord is looking at some new rental cases that have arrived at the store for possible purchase.  These were the slim line ones often found in CDR packages today, but were still quite new at the time.  A soft, bendable plastic that won't shatter when dropped.

"Thinking of using these as new rental cases Gord?"

"Possibly.  They are sexy and I can fit twice as many in a drawer, but I'm not sure about if they'll keep the CD from being bent."

"Ya, I see what you mean, all it takes is someone to do this and...."

<SNAP>

<Dramatic pause>

"....uhm... Sorry Gord."

"Please say that was a demo CD."

<Dramatic Pause>

"... I'm really, really sorry..."

Gord decided to stick with regular jewel cases until he migrated to DVD cases in mid 2001.