Is there a contest running on who can produce the most genetically repressed child?  For this theory carries much evidence.

hapter Sixteen

Simple Plan

"Will you be having a Boxing Day sale?"

(ed: In Canada, Boxing Day is the day right after Christmas, and traditionally any stores open on that day have sales to clear out inventory as Christmas has just passed.  A very busy time in retail as everyone is in a buy frenzy as everyone is having sales).

"Yes.  All new product will be 10% off, and all used will be 30% off."

"Ah good.  And GoldenEye is worth $35 now, so what will that be on Boxing Day?"

"$24.50, assuming it's still here.  It's a very popular title and I only have a couple used copies left."

"Very well then, could you hold this for me till next week then?  I'll pick it up on Boxing Day.  $25 sounds like a good price."

"Uh, no."

"Why not?"

"Because that's not the way things work.  If you want to buy it on sale, you'll have to wait until then and hope it doesn't sell in the meantime."

"You don't treat your customers very well."

"Ok.  Now GoldenEye is definitely going to be sold out on Boxing Day."

nother Simple Plan

A few days before Christmas.  Customer asks Gord to hold a used copy of Perfect Dark.  The claim is that he'll be back in before Christmas to pick it up.

Christmas comes and goes.  Our story continues on Boxing Day.

"Yes, I was in a few days ago.  You're holding a copy of Perfect Dark for me."

"Very well then, here it is.  $49 plus tax comes to $55.86."

"What about the Boxing day sale?"

"What about it?"

"It should be on sale."

"That applies to merchandise on the floor, not titles being held."

"That's false advertising."

"Just because you say it is doesn't make it so."

"Very well.  I just won't buy it then.  I'll just wait till you put it out, then I'll buy it."

"No, that's quite alright.  I've got a waiting list for it now."

"Fine.  I'll buy it."

"Buy what?"

"Perfect Dark."

"I'm sold out."

"You have one right there!"

"Yes, but you said you didn't want it.  It's now on hold for someone else.  See the post-it note with the name 'Dave' on it?  You're not Dave."

"I'm leaving!"

"That would be the end goal of my actions.  Door is to your left."

t Mostly Works, But Not Really

Customer comes in.  Says he wants to sell a PlayStation for cash.  Agrees to amount offered by Gord ($40).  Gord takes PlayStation and then walks over to monitor to test it.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just going to test it out to make sure it all works."

"Uhm, it works just fine."

Gord goes to put the game in.

"The spindle mount is completely missing."

"It still works."

"I can tell lies too.  Here, I'll tell one now.  'I wish to welcome you to my store.'  There, now we've both told a lie."

"So, take $5 off?"

"So how about I give you $5 and you stop wasting my time."

"You gave my friend $20 for his broken PlayStation before."

"Normally I do.  But they don't walk in and try to rip me off."


"This conversation is over.  Good day."

"Fine.  I'll take the $5."

"Very well.  Next time, learn that honesty is a virtue."

rief And To The Point

Annoying 14 year olds who had been in the store before and annoyed Gord with their childish antics enter into the store.

"How about you let us play a game for free?"

"Are you going to buy a game?"


"How about you just get the hell out?"

They departed.

y Store, Of Course I Mean Library

"That'll be $3 for two days."

"Uhm, I forgot my wallet.  Can I pay when I bring it back?"


Customer leaves with rental game.  Game is returned on time.  Customer tries to rent another game a week later.

"All right then.  That'll be $2 for the game for one night, and you owe me $3 from last time.  That makes a total of $5."

"Why do I owe $3?"

"Because you asked if you could pay for it next time you were in."

"But I returned it on time.  I shouldn't owe for anything."

"Do you see the phrase 'Video Game Library' on a sign?  I know I don't."


Simple Answer

"What does WWF Attitude cost?"


"What does WaveRace 64 cost?"


"Why does WaveRace 64 cost more than WWF Attitude?"

"Because it's $20."

(This person had been VERY annoying by this point.  He had been doing nothing but asking pricing questions over and over.)