When Gord is in charge, mandatory classes on being a normal customer will be required for everyone.

hapter Twelve

ive Me My Gold Back!

"It's been three weeks since I ordered my game that I pre-paid for.  I'm tired of waiting, I want my money back."

"Ok.  What's your phone #?"

<Gord looks up the phone number in the pre-sales and pre-pays>

"Uhm, I can't seem to find it.  What's your name?"

<Gord looks up the name, both first and last, and finds nothing>

"What game was it you ordered?"

"Chrono Cross."

"That's odd.  I have had those in stock since January.  I shouldn't have taken a pre-pay on that."

"I'll just take one of those then."

"I can't find any record of you at all.  Are you sure you pre-paid?"

"Here's my receipt!  Are you calling me a liar?"

<Dramatic pause>

"Ma'am.  This is a receipt from Microplay.  Perhaps they would be more likely to give you a refund, being that they took your money in the first place."

Want Free Gold!

"Can I have one of those posters?"

"I'm afraid not.  They were only available to people who had pre-ordered the game before it came out."

"Why can't I have one?"

"Technically, I just told you why."

"Can't I have that one?"

"I'm sorry, no.  That one is on hold for a customer who has to pick up their copy of the game."

Blah blah blah... so tired.  So very tired.  I'll finish this later.  Probably move it to Chronicles.  … so tired…



"Is Jamie in please?"

(note: Jamie had stolen a PlayStation rental system.  She provided a false address and false phone number, but she did not realize that Gord took down her address off her ID. This was a follow-up call after first confronting her. -ed)

"You'll come to fear the shadows!"

(note: This was Jamie's mother)

"That's nice."

"I'm serious!"

"Oh no!  The fat woman says her shadow is going to crush me!"


un Forrest Run!

"What game are you looking for?"

"I'm looking for, uhm… err… ah… I'm looking for, uhmm… Megaman…  But it's not here."

"Which one?  I have all five of them on the PlayStation right there."

"I'm, uh.. Not looking for anything…"

Kid runs out door.

he Magic Box Of Gold!

So the Gord decided to go with the idea put forth to him that he should liquidate all his crap PlayStation games that haven't sold in a while by putting them in a grab bin, as "grab bins are cool."

So Gord instead created a "Magic Box" full of $10 games.  Just like a grab bin, only magical! (You can watch the games disappear! -ed)

Customer sees magic box, looks through it, walks away to used game section that is across the store.  Customer grabs Xenogears (priced at $50), walks back to magic box, looks in it again, and then walks up to front counter.

"I'd like to buy this please."

"Very well then, that'll be $57 with tax."

"But everything in the grab bin there was $10.  I got this from that bin."

"It doesn't count if you put the game in there in the first place."

<dramatic pause>

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did.  I saw you."

"I would never!"

"You just did."

"No I didn't."

"Why would I put one of the most expensive and rare used games for the PlayStation in a stack of crap commons on sale for $10?"


"So, your answer is that you think I am retarded?  I'm sorry.  One of us has to go.  Care to guess who?"


hy Yes, I Make Money Not Selling Games

"Do you have any copies of Gran Turismo 3 in?"

"I'm sorry, it won't be out till mid-July."

(note: it was mid-June at this point).

"The Wal-Mart flyer has it advertised."

"That would be because they print their flyers months in advance and they had expected the game to come out by the time it was sent out."

"It's available!"

"If it was out, wouldn't I be trying to sell it to you?  That is, after all, how I make money.  Plus, if Walmart has it, why don't you try there?"

"I didn't see any.  They must have been sold out."

"Of course."