Why would I sell mod chips?  Hell, why not go all the way and start selling copies too so I can make extra money!  Do they not think?!

hapter Ten

intendo Makes You Stupid

"I'd like to buy this game."

"Very well then, that will be $45.60 with tax.  Also, do you have a memory expansion for your Nintendo 64?  Perfect dark requires it."

"I do."

"Are you sure? It's one of these units that plugs into here." 

Gord proceeds to show the customer what he's talking about as the customer doesn't look so bright by holding a Nintendo 64 up and pointing to the memory expansion slot.

Customer leaves, returns with parent.  Speech repeats with mother.

They leave content.

Next day, the customer returns.

"This game doesn't fit my machine."

Gord plugs it into his Nintendo 64.

"Seems to fit into mine.  Does your machine work with other games?"

"Yes, see?"

<Dramatic Pause>

"Sir, that is a GameBoy Advance."

"Perfect Dark didn't fit!"

"Well, yes, I suppose it wouldn't.  So when I held up a Nintendo 64 and pointed out things on it, you didn't say 'that doesn't look like my machine' because…?"

ome People Need A Job

"What does a PlayStation 2 cost?"


"When is the price going to drop?"

"I would suspect they will be $300 this October."

"I don't want to spend more than $100."

"That's what a used PlayStation 1 goes for."

"But I want a PS2."

"I'm sorry, but StarCraft says I can't talk to you anymore."

(note: Sadly, price drop didn't occur as was predicted.- Oct. 2001)

ut... It's Cash!

"That'll be $86.51 for the games including tax."

"How much if I pay with cash?"


"You don't understand, I want to pay in cash."

"What's to understand?  It's $86.51."

"Well, that way you don't have to keep a record.  You could, maybe, keep the money for yourself…"

"I see.  So I should steal from the owner.  Brilliant plan except that part where I steal from myself, as I'm the owner."


"If you ever plan to rent from me, you will require a credit card."


"Do you have any Tetris games?"

"Yes, several.  Which would you like?"

"Just plain old Tetris."

"Tetris Plus would be best then, as it's budget label and it's got the original Tetris on it."

"I don't like it.  It has extra game modes I don't want."

"Well, you don't have to play them."

"I will not buy it!  I want just plain old Tetris!"

"Sir, they don't have it on the PlayStation, they bundle it with remakes."

"Order me a plain Tetris."

"Sir, I can't get one."

"Then I'll go to that place in the mall, they'll get me one."

"I'm sure they will.  I'll phone them and let them know you're coming.  They'll thank me forever…"

t Never Ends!  Damn it!

"Do you have any 3DO's for sale?"


"How much?"


"That's it?  I've been wanting to get another one for the longest time."

"How many would you like? I've got a stack."

"I'll get one later."

"Now, I've been running this store for over 3 years.  And as far back as I can remember, you've been coming in and asking about buying a 3DO.  Now, it's $30. They've always been $30.  If $30 is that much of an issue, perhaps you might want to consider choosing a less expensive hobby?"

"Do you rent 3DO games?"

"No.  And I didn't rent 3D0 games last time you asked either."

"I'll get one next time I'm in."

"Of course you will."


ho Are You?!  And Why Are You Wearing A Red Shirt?


"Gamer's Edge"

"Do you still have any used copies of Gran Turismo in?"


"Could you hold one for me?"

"Sure.  What is your name?"

"What is my name?"

"Not a difficult question."

"Why do I have to tell you my name?"

"So I know who I'm holding the game for."

"Why do you need to know that?"

"So I know who I'm holding the game for.  I believe I said that already."

"Do I have to leave my name?"

"If you want the game held for you."

"Can't you just hold it for me?"

"I am not holding a game for 'person X' who might show up."