Why would I sell mod chips?  Hell, why not go all the way and start selling copies too so I can make extra money!  Do they not think?!

hapter Eight


ecepticons

And Gord said to the sidekick "Go forth and create this symbol for me and place it in the window!"

And after the sidekick toiled for five hours, the project was complete.  A rather large Decepticon symbol was complete and in the window.

The Gord added a sign under it that said "We welcome the Oppressors."

And the next day an individual entered the store and asked the sidekick what the slogan meant.

The sidekick points to the giant symbol.

A few seconds later the person gets all offended, storms around the store, and then finally leaves.

Again, some people's children…  Oh wait, he wasn't a child.  He was a bum on welfare who was about 25.

Update:  The sign has been changed to "We are here to protect YOU!"  So far no one has been offended.




ree Internet!

So at the store, the Gord has an eight port hub set up and extra LAN cables so that his friends can bring their computers down (portable or not) and plug into his computer network for playing games, cruising the web, whatever.  It's just LAN craziness action.

One day, this guy who had been in the store all of once before shows up and starts bringing in his computer.

"What are you doing?"

"Hooking my computer up to the network."

"Who are you, and why are you doing that?"

"I heard that you can play on the internet for free here if you bring your computer down."

"Technically, that policy is only for friends of mine."

"So?"

"The internet here is reserved for my friends.  You are not part of that group.  As such, you're not invited."

"Oh.  Well, you don't treat your customers very good."

"You're not a customer."

"I'm leaving."



ecycle The Fun!

So the Gord puts up a sign over his used games available for sale that reads "Recycled Fun!"

"Do you have any used games for sale."

The Gord points to the games by the door.

"I said used, not recycled."

"Those are the used games."

"No they aren't!  The sign clearly says they are recycled.  I don't want a game that was recycled, I want a used one."




igscreen Madness!

Oh, how the lower intellects believe they know more than the Gord.  In the store there is a rather large projection TV, and these enlightened individuals warn the Gord about how he is going to be cast down into the depths of hell for playing games on it.

Normally a quick "well, it was a problem back when TV's were new and all we had to play was Pong" or "only if you own an RCA, which are half the price for a reason" will bring an end to the issue.

But once this particularly annoying person wouldn't shut up about the forthcoming damnation the Gord was to experience.

"Oh god!  Nooooooo!" screamed the Gord as he grabbed the fire extinguisher and hopped the counter.  He then books it to the back and unplugs the TV from the power bar, then dives behind a couch and waits for a second to see if there was an explosion.

"Well, that was close!  I've been running that TV for 3 years without a problem.  Had you not walked in and warned me about the dangers of projection screen TV's, I surely would have been killed in the explosion that was about to occur."

<dramatic pause>

"I'm only acting retarded, what's your excuse?" queried the Gord.

The young advice columnist left.



The Correct Answer Is Thursday

"Here's your Dreamcast back."

"Very well then.  You want to pay for the extra day charges now or next time you rent?"

"Why do I owe for extra days?"

"Well, it was due back on Sunday."

"But you closed early on Sunday!  I phoned!"

"I do close at 7 instead of 8, but that doesn't change the return time of being before close."

"I phoned at 7:30, but there was no answer."

"Again, I close at 7 on Sundays instead of 8.  As well, why are we even having this conversation?  It's now Thursday.  Perhaps had you come in first thing Monday morning, I would be prepared to waive the extra day charges."

"You were closed early on Sunday!"

"Dude, look.  It's now Thursday!"

 

hort Story Madness!

Guy rents a game.  Guy steals game.  Guy has $58 credit on file.  Game costs $14.90 to replace.  Gord calls it a fair trade.