Why would I sell mod chips?  Hell, why not go all the way and start selling copies too so I can make extra money!  Do they not think?!

hapter Seven

ore Mod Chip Madness!

"Do you sell mod chips?"

"Go ahead, ask me what I sell."

"What do you sell?"

"I sell video games.  What a stupid question."

"What does a mod chip cost?"

"Apparently one of us isn't keeping up."

"What do you mean?"

"If I sold you a mod chip, then you would never buy a game from me ever again.  And that would be very much in opposition to my being able to run a profitable business."

"I just want one to play copied games."

"What?  Do I look like an idiot?  What the hell did you think I thought you wanted it for?"


"Exactly.  Now look, if I were to sell you a mod chip I would lose you as a customer.  Now, if I were going to lose you as a customer I'd rather do it on a high note like setting you on fire.  At least then I would have some satisfaction of a job well done."

"I'm leaving!"

"But I haven't set you on fire yet!"

amn It!  Day Ruined!

Customer chooses a stack of SNES games to buy, and places them on the counter.

"I'll give $40 for all these games."

"Sir, one of those games alone is priced at $40. The stack is priced at... (count)... $178."

"Make me a deal."

"Why? "

"Because they are old games."

"True, but you've chosen the rare and good ones. If you want a deal, might I suggest you take a look at the ones that are priced less? "

"I don't want those!"

"That's why they are $5 to $10 each. They aren't as sought after."

"Fine! Be that way. Can I rent them?"

"Sure. Fine. I don't care. "

"I'll take these four, and pay for them in the first week in May."

"That's not how I thought renting worked. Namely, you pay a price per day per game. I was thinking a $1 per day, or $5 for a week. "

"I want to buy them, but I'll pay for them next month."

"Very well. I'll hold them for you."

"You don't understand, I want the games now! I want to play them!" (now he's getting pretty angry).

"Uh-huh... Then buy them now, or pay now to rent them.  It's how things are done. "

Then he storms out and hits the door on the way out.

ut I Paid $100!

Gord had a guy in who was pissed Gord wouldn't give him cash for a N64.

"Why the hell not!"

"Because I already have five used ones.  And it's now a dead console.  No one cares.  I'm not paying cash for a dead console."

"Look, all I want is $100."

"It sells new for $100!"

"I know, that's what I paid for it."

"Buying a console is not a hedge against inflation, it's a toy.  Toys generally don't appreciate in value."

"$100 and it's yours."

"That's ok."

"Fine!  I'll take it elsewhere!"

"You do that."

he Madness Continues!

The preceding story was followed five minutes later by a guy who was pissed Gord wouldn't trade Wayne Gretzky Hockey straight across for Perfect Dark... 

"They're both N64 games!"

"And that would make me a library that gives away new books straight across for crap old ones."

hy Yes, I Give More For Games In Trade Than What They Sell For New...


"Gamer's Edge"

"Yes, what would you give me for a copy of Madden 2001 for the PS2?"

"$25 in credit."

"I talked to some other game stores, and they said they would give me $65 to $70."

"Then I suggest you take it to them.  I find giving more for a used game than what it sells for new to be a very poor business decision."

<long pause>

"Uhm...  how about $50?"

"No, no, no.  I insist you take your game to one of those fine stores that undoubtedly seeks your business much more than I do, as they are willing to take such a loss for your benefit.  Have a good day."


Why do people try such obvious lies just to try and get more for their games?  Do they believe anyone would price match such a ridiculous claim simply because of a zealotry to earn customers?  Some people's children.


hings Have Different Prices...

"I'd like to buy this game."

"Ok.  $59 plus tax comes to $67.26."

"I don't want to pay that much."

"Then I might suggest a different game?"

"I want to pay $30."

"Then I will have to suggest you buy a different game."

"Some of your other games for the Dreamcast are $30."

"Yes, yes some of them are."

"Every game should be the same price!  You're ripping people off by charging more for some games!  I KNOW you get them all for the same price!"

"Well, on my world, things are priced differently based on my cost and demand for the item.  But mostly my cost.  If I sold you Crazy Taxi for $30, I'd lose $20.  Now, where I come from that's B. A. D.  Bad."

"Don't lie to me!  I know you're making money at $30!"

"You're right.  On games that are priced at $30, I probably am making money as my cost would be less than $30."