Some people shouldn't let their kids out.

hapter One

here Do They Come From?

The Gord sold a child a Sega Genesis for $15. Nothing out of the ordinary. Over the next several days, the child kept coming back and bringing back different parts of the system.

First, it's the machine that is claimed not to work. Then it's the controller. Then the power supply. Now it's the R.F.

"I find it suspect that everything I've sold you has somehow broke..." spoke Gord.

The child started to cry. Some people shouldn't let their kids out.

'm A Master Hacker! Can I Have Free Stuff?

Originally this lad was dismissed as an idiot as he was going on about how he took six broken PS1's and made three working ones with them... Then went on to try and rent a machine.

"If you've got 3 working ones, why do you want to rent one?" questioned Gord.

"Uhm... ya... So I want to program, and I've got four programs I'm working on right now, so I need a fourth machine. Because you see, to program a PS1, you need to leave it hooked up to the computer the whole time you're writing the one game."

"I'm sorry. It's time for you to go." spoke the Gord.

Then he brings his dad in to sign up an account, and then it's "Why do I need ID or a deposit to rent a machine?" and "$5 to rent a machine? You can buy them for $140!"

You just know they're related.

ang Around With Idiots to Look Smarter!

The setting... The shopkeeper (Gord) is on hold on the phone while three kids walk in. They see an open PlayStation on the counter, so they walk over to see it.

Then, the obvious intellectual of the group starts in...

"You see, being that I've taken apart and fixed a couple PlayStations, I can tell you what's wrong with this unit. First up, the power switch is missing... and blah blah blah blah."

"Actually, the only thing wrong with that PlayStation is that I haven't put the lid back on it. It's all fixed and ready to go." spoke the Gord.


rust Me!

"Do we need ID to be able to rent?"

"Yes. Yes you do."


"You don't get out much, do you?"

"Can I use my library card?"


instein He Is Not

"What does it take to rent a PS2?"

"A driver's license and a credit card."

"And if I don't have those?"

"A cash deposit of $300."

"Can I leave the deposit next time I rent?"

"Uhm, no… Then there would be no deposit on this rental.  That would mean that my previous answer would have been 'there is no deposit required on PS2's'."

"Well then, I won't rent one."

"That would be my point."


hy Buy New?

"Do you have any used PlayStations?"

"Not at the moment, only new ones are in stock."

"I'd like you to order a used one for me please."

"Well, it doesn't quite work that way. I can only order them in new."

"Just order me a used one. I don't want to pay for a new one."

"I'm serious here, I can't just phone up and order used ones as Sony doesn't sell used machines, and neither do suppliers."

"Yes they do!"

"No, no they don't. Trust me on this one, being that I'm the one here with the game store."

"If you don't order me a used one, I'm not going to buy one from you."

"If I don't order you something that I can't get, you won't buy it from me. Sure, sounds about right."

"Just order me a used PlayStation!"

"You're not keeping up on the conversation here, or am I just talking to myself?"