Small Children who whine annoy me, damn it!


"How does a GameShark on the PlayStation work?  On a 64 it plugs into the cartridge, but how does it work on the PlayStation?"





You see, you put the game into the PlayStation like this.  Then you put the GameShark on top of the game, close the lid, and boom!  GameShark action for all.

The Gord then turned on a machine that was hooked up to the TV and it looked like the machine that he had set everything in to was the one being used.

"Wow!  That's cool!"

And the person then left to tell all his friends.

...two days later…

The Gord is working on the computer when the same person comes in and starts yelling "It doesn't use Velcro!" and storms out.

That was odd.

It took Gord a few minutes to figure out what buddy meant by that, and then it dawned on him how he had spun the tale of Velcro and the GameShark.

Gord later learned that this guy had spent the next two days at school telling everyone who would listen that the PlayStation GameShark used Velcro.  He successfully reinforced a low intellectual image he had.

Windows 2000 for the Dreamcast

As a joke one day Gord started a story about how Microsoft was bringing out Windows 2000 for the Dreamcast.  It was originally meant for fun among friends as a case of "wouldn't it be funny if I told people this."

Well, soon enough Gord caved and started telling a couple people who annoyed him about it.  "You should get Windows 2000 for your Dreamcast.  It makes it faster and such.  Microplay has them in stock for $79."

Sure enough they went for it and made a few enquiries for it from them.  As many were curious as to what Microplay had to say about this sudden influx of people looking for this non existent product, one of the part timers gave them a call and asked for it.

"Do you have Window's 2000 for the Dreamcast?"

"We are currently sold out at the moment.  It's not longer available"

"Your web page says you have them for $79."

"It does?"


"Well, we could order you in one if you like if you put down a deposit."

"Ok, I'll be right down."

Alas, you tell just the right number of idiots a lie, and it will spread everywhere.

The Player's Edge!

So there it was, a Friday night at around 9:30 pm.  It was a LAN night when people were bringing their computers down for some serious StarCraft action.  Well, StarCraft action is always serious, so it's not out of the ordinary.

Anyway, the music was loud, the lights were half off, and it was generally all good.  Then these two guys come to the door.

"Ya, we want to come in and play some free games."

"I'm sorry" spoke the Gord.  "The Gamer's Edge closed at 9pm.  After 9, it becomes 'The Player's Edge!'  Since you're not cute and female, you can't come in.  The hottest night club in town is invite only."

I'm Sorry, It's Rented

Gord is working on a Sunday and putting back cases to rented PlayStation 2 games on the shelf.  On the bottom shelf of the PlayStation 2 rental shelves, someone has placed a copy of "Mario Bros." for the original Nintendo

Gord did the only thing that came to mind.  He tagged it with a rental tag.

And for the next two months, people would comment on it.  And when they did, Gord responded that it was a popular rental, and in fact it was out right now.

The bright customers immediately started laughing, as the cartridge was right there and thought this was quite funny.

The not quite so genius customers took a bit longer, but they too also found it amusing.

Sadly, there were far more than expected that went "I didn't think anyone would rent it still" and would make further enquiries into the title, failing to realize the "rented game" was still right there.