It's a Girl…
So one day Gord decides he wants to restock his fridge, but he doesn't want to head to the bulk store to buy 20 flats of pop. So Gord sends a few of the regulars from the store here in a convoy to but some cases from the local grocery store. 5 kids, 15 cases, so not a problem.
Anyway, on the way back the convoy was attacked just like out of the old west! Bandits ambushed the convoy, brandishing shotguns and wearing bandannas and cowboy hats! At high noon! In the desert!
Or rather, a 15 year old girl came up and stole a case off the stack of the kids was carrying.
So, the Gord was perplexed. He wasn't about to go about beating a girl, but no one escapes the wrath of Gord!
So Gord walked down the street and caught up to her. At first she claimed she was given the case, then she threw the case at Gord and began screaming there was nothing he could do to her.
Oh the Gord can always do something…. Never taunt the Gord!
So Gord phoned up the parents and let them know that their daughter was involved in a shoplifting incident. The parents were very not impressed with their innocent daughter.
So the father comes down and brings the thief with him. He forces her to pay for what she stole at retail, and makes her apologize.
So all was done except for the excommunication.
"I trust I won't see you in here again till you're 19?" spoke the Gord.
"Why the fuck would I ever want to come back here?" was the retort.
"Because I'm a sexy man."