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Brilliant Thieves Wanted. Apply Within.
About the only thing that can be stolen in the store is a rental game when it's sitting on the counter. And you have to be pretty brazen about that. But there are those who try.
This is the story of one who tried.
The Gord had suspected that the young thief of low intellect had swiped a game off the counter before. So he was curious and decided to test the individual.
He placed a copy of Sarges Hero's for the N64 on the counter with no identifying marks other than the security marker used to write on it that no one can see. And he placed it on the counter besides the computer and made sure to turn his back when the target was at the counter.
And of course when the thief left, the game went with him. Very brilliant. Steal a game when the Gord knows who you are.
While the Gord waited for buddy to go home so he could phone him and ask him to return the game as he was fond of doing, instead something odd happened.
The would be thief's friend came into the store and asked if I wanted to buy a copy of Sarge's Hero's for cash.
Well, a quick glance and Gord could see it was the stolen copy, only they had ran it through some gravel to make it look worn and really used.
"Could you grab me your friend, he left something in here' spoke the Gord.
And the friend departs to grab the thief waiting outside who then enters. And when he got to the counter, the Gord became a vengeful Gord, lashing out and grabbing the thief by his jacket, yanking him up against the counter, pulling him off his feet so he was held aloft, and the Gord began to yell "What the hell are you doing stealing games and trying to sell them back to me? Are you retarded? Do you think I didn't know?"
"Fuck you!" was the response!
<BAM> went the backhand of Gord across the thieves face and he spoke "How about you shut the hell up and only speak to directly answer my questions!"
"Fuck you! You can't do this to me!" was the retort.
<BAM> again went the backhand of Gord across the thieves face. "Repent Sinner! And shut the hell up!"
"You can't hit me!" again was the retort.
<BAM> again went the backhand of Gord in a strike of justice and again he spoke "Speak when spoken to!"
Now the thief was quiet and still be held aloft.
And the Gord spoke! "If I EVER see you in here ever again, I'm going to steal your shoes! Do I make myself clear Mr. Smith!?!"
And thief nodded and the Gord was pleased. He placed the thief on the ground.
"Be gone foul demon of the netherworld! Take the lessons learned and never return!" declared the Gord.
And the thief departed never to return. The hand of Gord is a tool to be used upon those would seek to steal from the Gord, and it shall not be spared on those who need it.
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