"Yes, I'm phoning about you guys sending
me to collections."
"As I do not recall giving directions
to the anyone on how to find my collection company, I would
suggest that this is a tall tale. More likely, you mean
to imply I have sent your account to a collection company
which has since contacted you regarding your delinquency."
"Glad to hear we are in agreement."
"Why did you do that?"
"We have covered that already.
It would be regarding money owed to me."
"We have a problem."
"I would be more likely to support the
theory that you have a problem."
"It's not fair!"
"Fine... What's your name and
I'll pull the account up."
<customer provides name>
"Well, ok. You rented
Auto-Destruct for one night last August. It was never
returned, and when phoned your phone number provided was false
Your account was forwarded to collections after 90 days."
"Well, I don't want the game now."
"That's nice. It was due back
five months ago."
"I want to just bring it back and not pay
"I have a better idea. You pay
me for it since I've already replaced it."
"It's a horrible game."
"Yes, yes it is. Next time,
might I suggest you steal a better one?"
"Don't you want the game back?"
"No, not really."
"You can't charge me $60 for such a bad
game. It's not worth it. How about $10?"
"It didn't occur to you before that
your should ensure you were in fact stealing a good game?"
"How about $15?"
"How about the only reason your
phoning me is because you need a credit card or loan of some
some, and your bank is telling you to pay me off before
they'll consider it. On that note, good day."