Spring day. The door is held open by the
Nintendo 64 lodged in the frame. And people are flocking
to the outside in the warmth of the approaching summer.
Into the store rides our friend, the customer who always comes
in to Gord's store, checks everything out, annoy's Gord with
many questions, and never buys anything from Gord. Not
once in recorded history. He was very much in the "very
And by riding into the store,
I mean that literally. He rides his bike into the middle
of the store and parks it in the middle.
"You know, we discussed this last time that I have a bike rack
outside for a reason."
"But I'm afraid it
might get stolen."
"Perhaps if you used your
bike lock that's on your bike at this very instance."
"That's too much work. Oh! Is that Perfect Dark?
Can I play?"
"No. That's reserved for
"I'm a paying customer."
"What's your phone number? I'll check your account."
"Uhm... it won't be in there."
"I know that.
It was a rhetorical question."
go back there and watch then."
suggest you move your bike then, perhaps somewhere like the
"It will be ok right there."
"It's in the middle of my store."
deaf ears those words fell on. Anyway, customer walks in
as this was happening, so Gord wasn't able to push the issue.
Paying customer picks up game they ordered. Paying
customer hits bike with purse when they are turning around.
It almost falls on her nice clothes and other bag on the
"Oh! I'm so sorry!"
"That's ok ma'am. Let me take care of that."
Gord yells to non-paying customer "Your bike fell over!"
"That's ok. I'll pick it up when I go back up front."
Gord decides to walk around the counter and picks up the bike.
Then Gord carries it to the door, out the door, and then
tosses it 15 feet sending it crashing along the cement in
front of the store.
"What the hell are you
doing!?" screams the non-paying customer as he runs up front.
"You're bike fell over twice. It landed just outside
and to your left on the second time."
"Does this mean you've learned that using bike racks will
prevent your bike from falling?"
"Next time I see you, I'm
going to kick your ass!"
"Oh no! Not
'next time!' Anything but 'next time!' Much better
than 'oh, right now.' Have a good day. Bike's to