"What game is that you're playing?"

"StarCraft."

"Is that Johnny Cash I hear?"

"Yep.  A little Ring of Fire."

"Why are you listening to Johnny Cash while playing StarCraft?"

"Because I'm just that cool.  And losing.  But mostly the cool."

"Do you have any codes for video games?"

"Not really.  I generally don't use codes.  Plus, when I need one I just go on the internet and look it up."

"You should go on the internet and print me out a bunch of codes for a game I own, Rush 2."

"Or you could go to an internet cafe and print it out yourself."

"Why don't you just do it?"

"Very well, a dollar a page."

"Why?!"

"You're asking me to take my take my time and resources to give you something in exchange for nothing.  Further, this would be a slippery slope that would undoubtedly lead to yourself and others asking for the same in the future."

"Then how I am suppose to get the cheat codes?"

"Might I suggest an internet cafe?  I do believe I already called your attention to that option"         

Japanese writing on signs is just sort of cool.  So one day, Gord had the painted sign in the window changed.  Right below where it said "World Renowned Game Store of the Future", there was a collection of Japanese writings.

The translation: "Cute Japanese girlfriend wanted:  Apply with management."

"This CD doesn't work. I gave it to you to resurface, and it doesn't work in my PlayStation."

"Really?  Well, ok.  Let me check to see if there was any top foil damage.  If not, I'll send it out again."

<customer gives game to Gord>

"Sir...  this game is a game for your computer."

"You said resurfacing would make it run on my PlayStation."

"I told no such lies."

"Yeah, that's what you said!"

"Assuming that your claim was true, would you want to admit that you were so easily deceived by such an obvious false truth?"

"Can I have my $5 back?"

"Do I get to scratch your game CD up in exchange?"

"What does it take to sign up an account?"

"ID and credit card."

"What if I have no credit card?"

"Drivers licence and a social insurance number."

"Well, I brought my phone bill to show where I live and my name."

"... Sir, this is a disconnection notice for your phone."