"Wow! You got anime on DVD!
I'll rent this one."
Customer rents DVD anime.
"It doesn't work on my PlayStation."
"You have a PlayStation 2?"
"No, just a PlayStation."
"Uhm, it won't work that way. It can't handle reading the
"Sell me the add-on that will make it work."
"Uhm, that's a Video-CD add on. Video CD's are not DVD's."
"Then why didn't you tell me it wouldn't work?"
"It just never occurred to me to tell you how your own
Your Crazy Moon Language!
"Could you order me in a copy of
Final Fantasy 9 from Japan? I don't want to wait till it
comes out here."
"Uhm, sure. It'll be about $95 for a new copy imported
from Japan, and it'll take about two weeks."
Game arrives, customer buys, and customer returns.
"Hey! I can't read the game! It's in Chinese!"
"Actually, it's in Japanese. Being it's a Japanese game,
for Japanese gamers, in Japan."
"I can't read it."
"Well, just what did you think the game would be in?
"They should be."
"I'll let them know."
Gord has his computer and MP3
love action wired into his stereo and with it, he can wield
much music love action all around the store!
And with part of this, he also has a headset wired into his
computer. Primarily used for networked gaming, it can also be
used to make Gord into DJ Gord!
And DJ Gord was on the good. Music was booming, games were
playing, the good times were all about. And then a new
customer walked in the door.
And over the speakers bellowed "Welcome to the Player's Edge,
the hottest nightclub in town! I'm DJ Gord, and I'm dealing
Customer turns and leaves.
"You now have $1 left in
"No I don't, I have $2."
"You had $11. You used $10 of it to buy that game."
"I traded in $12 worth of games."
"You had two games worth $3, and one worth $5."
"What's 5 + 3?"
"8 + 3"
Just Plain Retarded.
Customer asks Gord about
ordering a selection of anime DVD's. Gord informs him that
they are $45 each. Then add in taxes, and $2 for shipping
to their place, and the total is $208.
"I'm sorry. That's too much. I can get them for $30 by
mail order from Animenation.com"
"You do realize $30 US converts to more than $45
Canadian. And on top of that, shipping from the states will
cost more. A lot more."
"Oh, the site is in Canadian dollars."
"You are aware that it lists everything in US dollars,
being a US site and all."
"No it doesn't. It's in Canadian, as I'm in Canada. All
web sites convert to Canadian dollars in their pricing when
you visit them from Canada."
"So exactly at what point did you decide to waste my time
and not listen to the facts? Was it the part when I said it
was $2 for shipping that you suddenly woke up retarded?"
"So what's wrong with your
"Well, it was working one day, and then today it wasn't.
Could you fix it?"
"I guess I can take a look at it."
"Can you do that right now?"
"uhm, sure, I guess."
Gord opens the PlayStation up.
"Well, there is your problem. A retarded monkey with a
soldering iron tried to put in a mod chip. I'd like to say
I've seen a worse soldering job, but I'd be lying. Usually
soldering doesn't cover an entire chip in solder."
"Uhm… I didn't do that."
"I never said you did. I blamed a retarded monkey."
"So how did that happen?"
"A retarded monkey with a soldering iron."
"But it just stopped working."
"Do I look like the morality police? I can install a new
motherboard for you. I've got them in stock."
"Could you also chip it for me?"
"I asked do I look like the morality police, not do I look
like an idiot."