The Gord often wonders why people threaten to never come back after they've been told never to return.

hapter Three

ntellecual Osmosis

So there the Gord was, trapped talking to an idiot.  Ever resourceful, he came up with this...

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I subscribe to the theory of intellectual osmosis.  As such, I must now cease our conversation and move away from you before my intelligence begins to drop.  Good day."

Then Gord walked away.  The other customers in the store had a very good laugh and had to explain to the idiot what Gord meant, and he was very pissed.  I don't think he ever came back.

ree Game Love Action!

When you rent a PlayStation from Gord it costs $5 and includes one free game.  Anyway, there was this guy who rents a PlayStation and the one game.  Machine comes back fine and on time, but no game.

A couple calls to his roommates and finally buddy here shows up at the store after about a week.

"I got your message that I still have your game."

"Yes, yes you do."

"Here it is."

"Ok, thanks.  You want to pay the extra day charges now or next time you rent?"

"What extra day charges?"

"For the game... A dollar a day."

"But the game was free with a rental of the machine."

"Well, yes… But the machine was returned."


"Well, that was my point in its entirety really."

Eventually it was accepted that this was going to cost one dollar per day.

y Parents Won't Let Me

"You sure have a lot of PlayStation games."

"Yes, yes I do."

"I wish I had a PlayStation."

"Why don't you pick one up?  They're free in large, specially marked boxes of cereal."

"My parents won't let me have one."

This guy was around 22.  Even the Gord can't help some people.

ith Parents Like This...

So a kid, around 19, signs up a new account.  He decides to rent Sled Storm, and then never comes back.   Well, ok.  Gord left a couple messages to return the game, but no luck. 

Eventually the young adult phones and says he returned it.  Uh-huh… That's right.

So Gord forwards the account to collections.

One day a few months later this lady walks in and starts yelling about how Gord sent her son to collections and ruined his credit rating so now he can't buy a car or stereo or something. 

Gord points out the obvious point that he stole a game and is a poor credit risk.

Then the mother throws the game on the counter and says that the game is now back and I have to fix his credit.

"Ma'am, first off, the game is destroyed.  Look at it.  Second, I've replaced the game already so I don't want it back. Instead, I seek the money for my cost on replacing it and the late fees he owed.  Third, your son claimed he returned it.  "

This just sets her off.  Something about how it's not her son's fault that he stole the game.

"How is it not his fault?"

"Because I brought it back."

"That excuses the original theft and lying to me?"

"It's not his fault he lied and tried to steal it!"

"Might I ask whose fault it is then?"

Anyway, she starts yelling some more about how her son is never going to rent from Gord ever again.  Gord points out that was exactly his point and that he had already closed the account when it was sent to collections.  So she stormed out.

The Gord often wonders why people threaten to never come back after they've been told never to return.

hey Must Have it!

Customer walks into the store to speak to the Gord.

"I have been looking for Megaman X4 forever!  I've looked everywhere!  I really, really want it.  Do you have it?"


"New, used, or rental?"

"Yes.  All of the above."

"Ah good." And then he leaves.

"Err… Ok…."

Some people when faced with the end of a journey simply decide to begin anew I guess.


ther Things They Must Have

Older fellow comes in, stands still and yells "Where do you keep all your girlie movies?!"

"Sir, this is a video game store.  Might I suggest a movie store?"

"So no girlie movies?"

"That would be correct."